John Guest here - Squadron Padre! Contrary to what you may have read elsewhere, I have actually been here since 1993, when I moved to Stanford-le-Hope and was asked to take on the role of Chaplain of the newly "squadronised" 1582. The C.O. at the time was Flt. Lt. Steve Gilbey. Since then I have seen cadets, officers (and civilian committee) come and go and the Squadron continue to develop both its character and its resources. As you will know the unit now meets in my church hall but, God willing, (and He is!) there will be a new HQ by next summer for all the cadets.

    My role as padre is an interesting one - particularly when it comes to rank. Traditionally, the padre is the rank of whoever he (or she) is speaking to. That means I have several times been a cadet, a corporal, a sergeant, a Flight Lieutenant and even once: an Air Vice Marshall! I attend the squadron on average once every 4-6 weeks and spend about an hour with the cadets discussing a topic of mutual interest, usually with a Christian slant. There is often the opportunity for games and stories and not a few jokes. I have been asked to put in a couple. Here goes:

Man goes into the doctor and says: "Doctor, I can't pronounce my "f's", "r's" and "t's" any more." "Well," says the doctor, "you can't say fairer than that then."

Warrant Officer goes into the CO's office and puts a spider on his desk. "Look at this, sir." He shouts at the spider: "Spider! By the left ... Quick March!" Spider duly trots off across the desk, four by four. Warrant Officer puts the spider through a complete drill and the CO is well impressed. "But that's not it, sir," says the WO. He picks up the spider and pulls its legs off then replaces it on the table. "Spider! Quick March!" Spider doesn't move. "Spider!! Quick March!!" Still spider doesn't move. "There you are, sir," says the WO triumphantly. "It just goes to show. When you pull a spider's legs off it goes deaf."

Well there you are little internet readers - they don't come much worse than that!

Keep on encouraging and supporting the wonderful team at 1582.

I hope to see you there very soon.

God bless you!

Revd. John Guest